True confession: A little less ducky.

I cannot read, write, or say the word mallard, without my brain calling up the Monty Python cocktail sketch wherein Michael Palin orders a Mallard Fizz from bartender Graham Chapman (tortured duck noises ensue), and later when Chapman asks if he'll have another, Palin demurs slightly and asks for a small one but then stops him. "You haven't got something a little less...eh...ducky, have you?"